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A Guide to Love, God, Prayer, Meditation, & Peace Within You—Right Now

Why Does My Loved One Suffer So Much?

Ava: “My niece was killed in a car accident six weeks ago. My brother (her father) also lost his wife 3 years ago to suicide, and now this. Do you have any thoughts as to why him again? He is a good man, very spiritual and did not deserve this. My niece was very close to her mother and very traumatized by her death. Could there be any connection?”

The Voice for Love: “My dearest one, thank you for bringing your heavy heart to Me. Thank you for the beautiful love you have for your brother as you seek understanding on his behalf. Do you know how dear you are to God? How beloved, how treasured? As is your brother, as is his wife who chose to leave the physical realm, as is your niece who is now with her. All are equally precious, treasured and seen with eyes of only love and compassion.

“Firstly, please be assured that your brother has not been targeted by God for suffering. My dear one, this is never the case. God does not see some as deserving of suffering and others not. God does not look at His dear children this way. God does not judge your performance in the world, nor dole out blessings or cursings based on what you do. To God, His every child is equally treasured, adored, and held in the highest regard.

“Why then do some experience more tragedy than others? Why do some have greater losses while others’ lives seem to run smoothly and without pain? Why such differences, particularly when seeming so undeserved, just as you say? Know that there is no explanation that would take away or even lessen the pain of these losses for your brother or yourself. His pain remains. His loved ones are gone from his presence. No understanding of why can mitigate this loss.

“At the same time, know that there is indeed a great design to all things. But like a vast tapestry of which each life is a single thread, it is difficult, even impossible, for the thread to see the Wholeness of which it is a part. This is why trust is so key, so essential to peace. To be at peace, you must trust. Trust that God truly does see and know every heart intimately. Tragedy must be given to Him, simply laid at His feet. For it isn’t knowing why that brings healing, but trust that does. Trust begets peace; peace begets healing.

“As you give this burden to God, as you trust, you will be helping your dear brother at a deeper level. This will take time. He needs a wide open space in which to grieve, not pushed to go faster than he need go, nor any expectations placed upon him of how this process should unfold. Every grief is its own work, unique to the one going through it. See his process as a work in progress and grant it room and time. Pray for him, love him, and allow him to be exactly where he is in each moment. He is so blessed to have you; know that he is grateful whether he expresses it or not.

“And know, too, that nothing happens randomly or meaninglessly. Just as God is not punishing or tormenting your brother, neither is God neglecting or ignoring him. No child of God is left comfortless; none is alone. Your brother’s journey is one of great trial but also of great blessing. He is stronger than you know. His heart will arrive at a place of peace and knowingness ultimately, because God is taking him there.

“Trust God in this and all things so that you yourself may be a place of peace where you brother may rest a little while as he chooses. Be an oasis for him, knowing that God is traveling with him through this desert time.

“Bless you, beloved one, and thank you for your loving heart.”